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can someone read my story

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Sat, 10/12/2011 - 10:40

lil pwincess

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Joined: 09/12/2011 - 17:19

Posts: 4

can someone read my story

Sat, 10/12/2011 - 10:40

lil pwincess

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Joined: 09/12/2011 - 17:19

Posts: 4

can someone read my story

why me
the dark clouds enclosed them selves around me like firese preditors i starded at them in dissmay.my life was about to get worse. in 1 week i was about lose everything and everyone.

why me? what had i done to deserve this?
this how it all started.....

can someone plzzzz coment?
(i know my spelling is really bad!)

Tue, 29/10/2013 - 21:11

(Reply to #2) #3

Ahrathy_Mahan

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Joined: 22/09/2013 - 20:39

Posts: 1

It's a really great opening and very mysterious

Sun, 20/03/2016 - 08:59

(Reply to #3) #4

leahturland15

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Joined: 20/03/2016 - 08:34

Posts: 2

Its that all of it?

That is a great opening to your story. Its now a cliffhanger. I want to know want happens next. Its a mystery.

Tue, 29/10/2013 - 14:31

arabellaalouise

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Joined: 29/10/2013 - 14:16

Posts: 2

is that all of it?

is that all of it?
if yes then its bit short also you need to make it a bot moreobvious what its about because atm its confusing

Sun, 20/03/2016 - 08:56

leahturland15

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Joined: 20/03/2016 - 08:34

Posts: 2

Is that all of it?

That is a really great opening to your story. Its now a cliffhanger. I want to know want happens next. Its a mystery.

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