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can someone read my story
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lil pwincess
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Joined: 09/12/2011 - 17:19
Posts: 4
can someone read my story
lil pwincess
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Joined: 09/12/2011 - 17:19
Posts: 4
can someone read my story

why me
the dark clouds enclosed them selves around me like firese preditors i starded at them in dissmay.my life was about to get worse. in 1 week i was about lose everything and everyone.

why me? what had i done to deserve this?
this how it all started.....

can someone plzzzz coment?
(i know my spelling is really bad!)

Ahrathy_Mahan
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Joined: 22/09/2013 - 20:39
Posts: 1
hi

It's a really great opening and very mysterious

leahturland15
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Joined: 20/03/2016 - 08:34
Posts: 2
Its that all of it?

That is a great opening to your story. Its now a cliffhanger. I want to know want happens next. Its a mystery.

arabellaalouise
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Joined: 29/10/2013 - 14:16
Posts: 2
is that all of it?

is that all of it?
if yes then its  bit short also you need to make it a bot moreobvious what its about because atm its confusing

leahturland15
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Joined: 20/03/2016 - 08:34
Posts: 2
Is that all of it?

That is a really great opening to your story. Its now a cliffhanger. I want to know want happens next. Its a mystery.