Jewish Rituals - Adulthood

This section explores Jewish rituals in adulthood. In Judaism, rites and rituals continue to play a vital role throughout a person's life, and adulthood is marked by significant milestones, with marriage being one of the most important. Marriage is viewed not only as a legal and social contract but also as a divine blessing. Traditionally, there has been an expectation that all Jews will marry and have children, fulfilling the commandment from the Torah to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:22).

Betrothal (Kiddushin)

The process leading up to marriage in Judaism typically begins with kiddushin, or betrothal, which is a formal engagement period. In Orthodox Judaism, this period usually lasts for 12 months. The kiddushin marks the first part of the marriage ceremony, during which the couple enters into a commitment to marry. In ancient times, a ceremony would often take place a year before the wedding, formally recognising the couple’s intention to marry.

One traditional custom in Orthodox Jewish communities is that the bride and groom do not see each other for a week before the wedding. This period of separation is seen as a way to build anticipation and maintain a sense of holiness and purity before the wedding ceremony.

Wedding Ceremony

Jewish weddings can take place on any day of the week, except for Shabbat (the Sabbath) or Jewish festivals, as these days are already reserved for rest and worship. Jewish weddings can be held in various venues, including synagogues, but in more modern times, they can also take place in non-religious locations such as hotels, gardens, or other event spaces, depending on the preferences of the couple.

The wedding ceremony itself involves several significant steps, each imbued with deep spiritual and cultural meaning:

Fasting Before the Wedding
Both the bride and groom traditionally fast before the wedding day. This act of fasting serves as a way to cleanse themselves of sin and enter into the sacred union with a pure heart.

The Chuppah
The couple marries under the chuppah, a canopy that represents the home the bride and groom will build together. The chuppah is a central symbol of the new life and relationship they are about to begin.

Exchange of Rings
The groom gives the bride a ring as part of the marriage ceremony. In Reform Judaism, it is also customary for the bride and groom to exchange rings, symbolising mutual respect and equality in the marriage.

The Seven Blessings
Seven special wedding blessings (Sheva Brachot) are recited during the ceremony. These blessings praise God for his creation of the world and the institution of marriage, and they ask for divine blessings on the couple's new life together.

Blessing by the Rabbi
The rabbi or officiant blesses the couple, asking for God’s protection and guidance as they embark on their shared life journey.

Signing of the Ketubah
The bride and groom sign the ketubah, a marriage contract that outlines their responsibilities to one another. The ketubah often includes the rights of the bride, particularly concerning matters of divorce, and is signed in the presence of witnesses.

Drinking of Wine
The couple shares a cup of wine as part of the ceremony. Wine, in Jewish tradition, represents joy and celebration, and sharing it together symbolises the joy of the couple's union.

Breaking of the Glass
The groom traditionally breaks a glass under his foot, which has a dual meaning. First, it serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, highlighting that even in times of joy, there is sadness and loss in the world. Secondly, it represents the idea that life, like the glass, is fragile, and it reminds the couple that their marriage will face both hardships and happiness.

Celebratory Wishes
Following the ceremony, guests typically wish the newlyweds Mazel Tov (good luck or congratulations). This reflects the joy of the community in celebrating the couple's new life together.

Private Time for the Couple
After the public part of the ceremony, the bride and groom are given a short period of privacy in a special room. This is often referred to as the yichud, and it symbolises their transition into their new life as a married couple, marking the first moments of their married life together.

Wedding Reception
A wedding reception follows the ceremony, where family and friends gather to celebrate the union. In Orthodox Jewish weddings, separate receptions may be held for men and women before or after the ceremony, in keeping with the tradition of maintaining gender separation in certain religious settings.

The Significance of Marriage in Judaism

Marriage in Judaism is regarded as a deeply spiritual act, symbolising the joining of two souls. It is seen as a way of fulfilling the commandment to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:22) and serves as a means of creating a holy and sacred bond between husband and wife. The marriage ritual reinforces the idea of family life as a reflection of God's presence in the world.

As described in the Torah:

"Hence a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh."
— Genesis 2:24

This passage reflects the profound connection that marriage represents: the merging of two individuals into one united entity, both spiritually and emotionally. Marriage, in Jewish tradition, is viewed as the foundation of a family, a partnership that embodies faith, responsibility, and mutual respect. It is a bond that is intended to be lifelong and sacred, creating a nurturing environment for future generations and the fulfilment of God's commandments.

The Jewish marriage ceremony is a rich and meaningful ritual that marks the transition of a couple into a life of shared responsibility, love, and devotion. It reflects the spiritual, emotional, and practical aspects of Jewish life, and the rituals involved serve to sanctify the couple's union and highlight the significance of family and community in Jewish tradition.