Sex and Relationships in Christianity

This section explains how sex and relationships are viewed in Christianity: Focusing on sex before marriage, cohabitation, Adultery, contraception and Same-Sex Relationships.

Sex Before Marriage

In Christianity, views on sex before marriage are often shaped by the belief that sexuality is a gift from God and should be respected. Many Christians hold the view that sex outside of marriage diminishes the sanctity of God-given sexuality. One of the key biblical references on this matter is from 1 Corinthians:

"But if they can’t control themselves, they should get married, because it’s better to marry than to burn with passion."
— 1 Corinthians 7:9

For some Christians, this teaches that sexual desires should be fulfilled within the context of a committed marital relationship. The Catholic Church, for example, teaches that sex should only occur within the bounds of marriage, as this provides a stable and loving environment for the couple and any children they may have.

The Catholic document Persona Humana states:

“Experience teaches us that love must find its safeguard in the stability of marriage, if sexual intercourse is truly to respond to the requirements of human dignity.”

In line with this, many Christians choose chastity before marriage, as a means of maintaining purity and honouring God’s intentions for human relationships. The Bible reinforces this concept in Hebrews:

“Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
— Hebrews 13:4

Cohabitation

While marriage is traditionally preferred by many Christians, attitudes towards cohabitation—living together without being married—are more varied. Some Christians accept cohabitation, particularly in long-term relationships where there is faithfulness, loyalty, and commitment. Pope Francis has acknowledged that, while marriage is the ideal context for sexual relationships, cohabitation may be acceptable depending on an individual’s circumstances.

In his apostolic exhortation The Joy of Love (2016), Pope Francis stated:

“In such cases, respect can also be shown for those signs of love, which in some way, reflect God’s own love.”

He recognised that factors such as financial and cultural challenges may lead some couples to cohabit rather than marry, but he still encouraged a commitment to faithfulness and respect in these relationships.

Adultery

Adultery is forbidden in Christianity, as it undermines the commitment made in marriage. The Bible clearly prohibits adultery in the Ten Commandments:

“You shall not commit adultery.”
— Exodus 20:14

Faithfulness within marriage is crucial, and many Christian teachings emphasise the destructive nature of infidelity. In the Book of Proverbs, it is stated:

“But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so, destroys himself.”
— Proverbs 6:32

Adultery is seen as a violation of the sacred bond between husband and wife and can have profound spiritual and personal consequences. As such, most Christians view marriage as a lifelong commitment, and infidelity is regarded as a serious betrayal of that trust.

Contraception

Christian views on contraception vary widely, but many Christians agree that children are a gift from God, as highlighted in Psalm 127:

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”
— Psalm 127:3

However, the decision to use contraception is a complex issue, and many Christians recognise that factors such as psychological, economic, environmental, and medical circumstances can influence a couple’s choice on whether or not to have children. Some Christian denominations accept the use of contraception under certain conditions, while others, particularly the Catholic Church, do not.

The Catholic Church holds the view that procreation is a central purpose of marriage, as reflected in the biblical command:

“Be fruitful and multiply.”
— Genesis 1:28

As such, the Church teaches that artificial contraception, which prevents conception, is not permitted. However, natural methods of family planning, such as the rhythm method, are accepted if they are beneficial to the mother’s health or the family’s circumstances.

Same-Sex Relationships in Christianity

The legalisation of same-sex marriage in the UK in 2013 has sparked significant debate within many Christian communities. Some Christians, particularly in more traditional denominations, argue that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, citing biblical teachings and Church tradition as evidence. The passage from Genesis, “Be fruitful and multiply,” is often interpreted by these Christians as a divine command that excludes same-sex couples, who are unable to fulfil this through natural conception.

The Catholic Church, along with many Evangelical Christian denominations, teaches that homosexual acts are contrary to divine and natural law. Some of St. Paul’s writings are often cited to support this view, such as:

“Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who have sex with men… will inherit the kingdom of God.”
— 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

These teachings have led to divisions within the Christian community. Some denominations interpret the Bible’s stance on homosexuality as outdated and irrelevant to modern society, and they advocate for greater acceptance of same-sex relationships.

On the other hand, some Christians believe that monogamous same-sex relationships can reflect the same Christian values as heterosexual marriages, such as love, faithfulness, and commitment. These Christians argue that denying same-sex couples the right to marry is unjust and does not reflect God’s love for all people.

Certain Christian denominations, such as the Quakers and the United Reformed Church, have embraced same-sex marriages since the new legislation was introduced in 2013. The Quakers, in particular, express a welcoming attitude towards same-sex couples, as demonstrated by the following statement from their writings:

“We affirm the love of God for all people, whatever their sexual orientation… to reject people on the grounds of their sexual orientation is a denial of God’s creation.”
— Wandsworth Preparative Meeting, 1989

These differing views on same-sex relationships highlight the ongoing debates within Christianity. Some denominations maintain traditional teachings, while others are increasingly recognising that same-sex couples can share the same Christian values of love and commitment as heterosexual couples. The diversity of opinion on this issue underscores the complexity of how faith, tradition, and modern understandings intersect within Christian communities.