Sex and Relationships in Hinduism

This section explains Hindus views on sex and relationships, focusing on: sex before marriage, adultery, Contraception, same-sex marriages and Hijra – The Third Gender. 

Sex Before Marriage

For many Hindus, particularly those from the Shaivism and Vaishnavism traditions, engaging in sex before marriage is considered dishonourable and is strongly discouraged. Sex is regarded as a divine gift from God and should therefore only occur within the sanctity of marriage.

However, some Hindu teachings acknowledge that while consensual premarital sex is not inherently sinful, it should ideally lead to marriage:

"When he has a connection with a willing maiden, it is not offence … but he shall honour her and espouse (marry) her." – Nāradasmṛti 12,72

In Hinduism, the intention behind an action determines whether it is lawful (dharma) or unlawful (adharma). If sex is pursued purely for personal pleasure without commitment, it is considered unlawful.

Adultery in Hinduism

Sexual fidelity within marriage is highly valued in Hinduism. The relationship between Rama and Sita is often cited as the ideal Hindu marriage, demonstrating faithfulness, devotion, and duty to one another.

Committing adultery is seen as a betrayal of dharma, which can obstruct the attainment of moksha (liberation from the cycle of rebirth). Infidelity not only leads to negative karma, but it can also harm family life, affecting children’s spiritual upbringing.

"O married men and women; be loving and faithful to one another." – Shikshapatri of Lord Swaminarayan

Contraception and Family Planning

Many Hindus believe that the primary purpose of sex and marriage is procreation. However, family planning is generally accepted once a couple feels their family is complete. Hindu teachings discourage contraception if it is used to completely avoid having children, as fulfilling one’s dharma includes raising a family.

"A man should have sex with his wife during her fertile season and always find satisfaction in his own wife." – Laws of Manu 3

Ethical considerations play a role in Hindu views on contraception. Some Hindus oppose methods that prevent the implantation of an embryo, as they believe life begins at conception:

"Where a man deposits the semen in a woman … it becomes one with the woman’s body as if it were part of her own body." – Aitareya Upanishad 2:2

Thus, while contraception is generally accepted, certain forms may be considered inappropriate if they are believed to interfere with the natural process of life.

Hindu Views on Same-Sex Marriage

Same-sex marriages have been legally recognised in the UK since 2013. However, attitudes within Hinduism towards same-sex relationships vary widely.

Many Hindus argue that marriage’s primary purpose is procreation, and traditional texts such as The Laws of Manu only reference heterosexual relationships. This leads some Hindus to oppose homosexual relationships and same-sex marriage.

However, some Hindu traditions, such as Smartism, view sexual orientation as a natural aspect of human identity, given by God. This perspective encourages respect and acceptance for all individuals, regardless of their sexuality:

"Men who are not aroused by women are said to be born as such due to previous life impressions." – Charaka Samhita 4 2:17-21

Some Hindus support equal rights for same-sex couples. Although certain Hindu priests may choose not to perform the Vivah Sanskar (traditional Hindu wedding ceremony) for same-sex couples, others recognise their commitment and conduct the ceremony in support of marriage equality.

Additionally, ancient Hindu temples contain sculptures and carvings depicting homosexual acts, which some Hindus interpret as evidence that same-sex relationships have existed and been acknowledged in Hindu culture for centuries. Furthermore, Hindu scriptures do not explicitly forbid homosexuality, leading some Hindus to view same-sex relationships as morally acceptable.

Hijra – The Third Gender in Hinduism

Hinduism acknowledges the existence of a third gender, known as Hijra. This gender is considered neither male nor female, and is recognised in texts such as The Laws of Manu.

Traditionally, many Hijras leave their birth families and form their own communities. Some work in Hindu temples, serving the mother goddess Parvati and participating in religious ceremonies.

Hijras have played significant roles in Indian culture, particularly in theatrical performances based on the Mahabharata and Ramayana. In these epic tales, third-gender individuals often take on important roles, highlighting their place within Hindu society.

Conclusion

Hinduism's approach to sex and relationships is deeply rooted in the principles of dharma (duty), karma (consequences of actions), and moksha (spiritual liberation). While traditional views continue to influence many Hindus, perspectives are evolving to accommodate modern understandings of relationships and sexuality.