Marriage in Sikhism

This section explains Marriage in Sikhism. Marriage in Sikhism is seen as a divine partnership in which both individuals support each other in their spiritual and worldly responsibilities. It is a lifelong commitment that helps build a strong family and a stable society. While Sikhism discourages divorce, it recognises that it may be necessary in extreme circumstances, and remarriage is permitted within certain guidelines.

The Nature and Purpose of Marriage

In Sikhism, marriage is considered a sacred union between two individuals who commit to walking the path of righteousness together. It is not merely a physical or legal contract but a spiritual partnership that enables both partners to grow in faith, love, and responsibility. The Sikh Gurus set an example by marrying themselves and teaching that marriage provides an opportunity to:

• Procreate – Bringing children into the world is seen as a natural and divine aspect of married life.
• Provide a stable and nurturing environment for children – The family unit plays a crucial role in raising children with Sikh values and teachings.
• Develop selflessness – Marriage encourages individuals to think beyond their own needs and focus on the well-being of their spouse, family, and wider society.

As with Khande-di-Pahul (the Sikh initiation ceremony), marriage comes with duties and responsibilities. Sikh teachings encourage spouses to uphold moral values, perform good deeds, and support one another in their spiritual journey.

The first verse of the Lavan (the Sikh wedding hymns) provides guidance on the conduct of married life:

"Embrace the righteous conduct of Dharma, and renounce sinful actions."
Guru Granth Sahib 773 (1st Lavan)

Sikhism views marriage as an opportunity for individuals to become less self-centred. A married couple extends their sense of self to include their partner, their future children, and, eventually, society as a whole.

"Recognise the whole of the human race as one."
Dasam Granth 51

The Sikh Wedding Ceremony

The Sikh wedding, known as Anand Karaj (meaning ‘blissful union’), is a religious and spiritual event conducted in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib (the Sikh holy scripture). The ceremony follows a series of important steps:

• The Gurdwara Ceremony – The wedding usually takes place in a Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship) and lasts up to three hours.
• Kirtan (Sacred Hymns) – Before the bride arrives, the groom listens to Kirtan (devotional music), which sets a peaceful and spiritual atmosphere.
• Ardas (Prayer) to Begin the Ceremony – The wedding formally begins with an Ardas, a Sikh prayer asking for Waheguru’s blessings.
• The Lavan (Four Wedding Hymns) – The central part of the ceremony consists of four hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib. With each hymn, the couple walks around the holy scripture to symbolise their spiritual journey together.
• The Completion of the Ceremony – After the final Lavan, the Ragis (musicians) recite the Anand Sahib, a hymn of joy, followed by another Ardas.
• Celebrations – The ceremony concludes with Kara Prashad (blessed food) being distributed, followed by wedding celebrations, including dancing and feasting.

The Role of Marriage in Strengthening the Sikh Community

Marriage in Sikhism is not just about the union of two individuals but also about uniting two families. This strengthens social bonds within the Sikh community and upholds traditional values.

"Marriage is a … religious bond … Ideally, it aims … at the development, fulfilment and welfare of the family, and through it of the society and mankind."
Promila Kapur (Sikh lawyer and author)

Celibacy and the Nihangs

While marriage is highly valued in Sikhism, some Sikhs, such as the Nihangs (Warrior Sikhs), choose to remain unmarried. They dedicate their lives to serving the Sikh community, focusing on religious devotion and martial discipline. The Nihangs often live in Gurdwaras and attend Sikh gatherings rather than engaging in domestic life.

Polygamy in Sikhism

What is Polygamy?

Polygamy refers to the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time. In the United Kingdom, polygamy is illegal, and Sikh teachings also discourage the practice. Sikhism strongly advocates monogamy, meaning that a Sikh should have only one spouse.

Divorce and Remarriage in Sikhism

Divorce

Divorce is the legal process of ending a marriage. Sikhism teaches that marriage is a lifelong commitment, and divorce is generally discouraged. The Sikh belief in the deep spiritual bond between husband and wife is reflected in the following verse:

"I have obtained God … the undying form as my spouse."
Guru Granth Sahib 78

Seeking Help Before Divorce

Sikh communities prioritise reconciliation and problem-solving when a marriage faces difficulties. Many Gurdwaras offer support, and the sangat (community) often helps couples work through their differences. Sikh teachings encourage couples to think about their responsibilities, especially towards their children:

"If the husband and wife dispute, their concern for their children should reunite them."
Guru Granth Sahib 143

However, Sikhism acknowledges that some marriages cannot be saved. If all attempts at reconciliation fail, divorce may be accepted as a last resort.

Remarriage in Sikhism

The Rehat Maryada (Sikh Code of Conduct) states that remarriage is generally permitted only in cases of widowhood:

"No Sikh should marry a second wife if the first wife is alive."
Rehat Maryada 18:17

However, if a marriage has ended due to divorce, the decision to remarry is sometimes left to the guidance of the sangat or the Panj Pyaare (five religious elders).

"Remarriage may be solemnised in the same manner as the Anand marriage."
Rehat Maryada 11:18

This means that a remarriage is performed with the same religious significance as a first marriage. Widowed Sikhs are allowed to remarry if they choose, reflecting the belief that marriage is an important and natural part of life.