Sex and Relationships in Sikhism

This section explains Sex and Relationships in Sikhism, focusing on: Sex Outside Marriage, Adultery, Contraception and Same-Sex relationships.

Sex Outside Marriage

In Sikhism, sexuality is regarded as a divine gift from Waheguru (God) and is to be expressed within the sanctity of marriage. The Sikh faith teaches that sex before marriage and cohabitation are morally wrong, as they do not align with the principles of a committed, spiritual partnership.

The Guru Granth Sahib reinforces the belief that marriage is more than a physical relationship—it is a sacred union where two individuals become spiritually one:

"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies."
Guru Granth Sahib 788

The Rehat Maryada’s View on Premarital Sex

The Rehat Maryada (Sikh Code of Conduct) explicitly forbids sex before marriage. It states that engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage is a grave moral transgression and that those who do so cannot be considered true Sikhs.

This is particularly important for members of the Khalsa, as engaging in premarital or extramarital sex is one of the Kurehats (major prohibitions) that they must never break.

The Guru Granth Sahib warns against the fleeting nature of sexual pleasure and its potential consequences:

"For an instant of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days."
Guru Granth Sahib 403

Adultery in Sikhism

Kaam and the Importance of Self-Control

In Sikhism, Kaam (lust) is one of the five ‘thieves’ (Panj Chor)—negative forces that distract Sikhs from leading a righteous life. A devout Sikh is expected to control their desires and resist the power of Kaam, as unchecked lust can lead to immoral actions such as adultery.

Adultery is seen as a serious sin in Sikhism because it represents not only a betrayal of one’s spouse but also a violation of the divine sanctity of marriage. Sikh teachings consider adultery to be a selfish act that disrupts harmony in families and society.

"The blind fool abandons the wife of his own home and has an affair with another woman."
Guru Granth Sahib 1165

A married Sikh is expected to remain faithful to their spouse, upholding the principles of commitment, trust, and honesty that are central to Sikh family values.

Contraception in Sikhism

Sikhism places great importance on family life, and many Sikhs believe that marriage should naturally lead to having children. The Sikh Gurus set an example by having families of their own, and children are often seen as a blessing from God.

"A child is born when it pleases God."
Guru Granth Sahib 921

Is Contraception Allowed in Sikhism?

Unlike some other religions, the Guru Granth Sahib and the Rehat Maryada do not explicitly mention contraception. As a result, Sikhs are generally free to decide whether or not to use birth control.

Many Sikhs accept the use of contraception in situations where having a child would cause financial, emotional, or health difficulties. Sikh teachings emphasise that God does not intend humans to suffer, and therefore, using contraception can be considered a responsible choice.

However, some Sikhs believe that life begins at conception, and they carefully consider the ethical implications of different forms of contraception. Some Sikhs may reject abortifacient contraceptives (such as the morning-after pill), which prevent a fertilised egg from developing. Instead, they may prefer barrier methods like condoms or non-permanent contraception like the contraceptive pill.

Sikh Teachings on Same-Sex Marriage

Sikhism traditionally teaches that marriage is intended to be between a man and a woman. Many Sikhs interpret this as meaning that same-sex marriage is not in line with Sikh religious teachings.

The Akal Takht’s Stance on Same-Sex Marriage

In January 2005, the Jathedar of the Akal Takht (the highest Sikh temporal authority) issued an edict condemning same-sex marriage. The ruling stated that all Gurdwaras were forbidden from conducting same-sex wedding ceremonies.

"The advice given by (Akal Takht) the highest Sikh temporal authority to every Sikh is that same-sex marriage is unnatural and ungodly, and the Sikh religion cannot support it."
Manjit Singh Kalkatta

This reflects the traditional interpretation of Sikh teachings, which emphasises that marriage should be a union between a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation and spiritual growth.

Alternative Interpretations of Sikh Teachings on Homosexuality

Despite this traditional stance, some Sikhs argue that Sikhism’s strong focus on equality, compassion, and acceptance suggests that same-sex relationships should not be condemned.

One argument is that neither the Guru Granth Sahib nor the Rehat Maryada explicitly mention homosexuality. Some Sikhs interpret this as evidence that Sikhism does not actively oppose same-sex relationships, as the Gurus would have addressed it if it were an important issue.

Furthermore, Sikh teachings emphasise that all humans are created by Waheguru and should not be judged unfairly:

"He Himself creates, O Nanak; He establishes the various creatures. How can anyone be called bad?"
Guru Granth Sahib 1238

As a result, some Sikhs believe that same-sex couples should be accepted and that religious opposition to homosexuality is a misguided interpretation of Sikh values. They argue that Gurdwaras should be open to all, regardless of sexual orientation.

Conclusion

Sikh teachings on sex and relationships emphasise the importance of commitment, faithfulness, and morality. Sikhism views sex as a sacred act that should only take place within marriage. Adultery, premarital sex, and cohabitation are discouraged as they undermine the spiritual and social importance of marriage.

Contraception is generally permitted, as Sikhism does not have strict rules against it. Many Sikhs believe that family planning can be a responsible decision in certain circumstances.

While traditional Sikh teachings do not support same-sex marriage, some Sikhs argue that the principles of equality and compassion should lead to a more inclusive approach.

Ultimately, Sikhism teaches that love, respect, and self-discipline should guide all relationships, ensuring that they contribute to both personal spiritual growth and the well-being of society as a whole.