My Mother’s Kitchen (Choman Hardi)

This section provides analysis for the poem. My Mother’s Kitchen by Choman Hardi. Choman Hardi’s poem My Mother’s Kitchen explores themes of belonging, loss, and identity through the lens of the speaker’s relationship with her mother and her mother’s repeated experiences of displacement. The poem reflects on the complex dynamics of inheritance, not just of physical objects, but of emotional connections to home, family, and cultural roots. The mother’s repeated attempts to create a sense of home amidst constant movement reveal the deep emotional costs of migration and the challenges of finding stability. The kitchen, as a central symbol, becomes a place of both nostalgia and unfulfilled longing, reflecting the emotional weight of the speaker's family history. You can read the poem below followed by detailed analysis. 

My Mother’s Kitchen by Choman Hardi

I will inherit my mother’s kitchen,
her glasses, some tall and lean, others short and fat,
her plates, an ugly collection from various sets,
cups bought in a rush on different occasions
rusty pots she doesn’t throw away.
“Don’t buy anything just yet”, she says,
“soon all of this will be yours”.

My mother is planning another escape
for the first time home is her destination,
the rebuilt house which she will furnish.
At 69 she is excited at starting from scratch.
It is her ninth time.

She never talks about her lost furniture
when she kept leaving her homes behind.
She never feels regret for things
only for her vine in the front garden
which spread over the trellis on the porch.
She used to sing for the grapes to ripen,
sew cotton bags to protect them from the bees.
I know I will never inherit my mother’s trees.

Analysis of the Poem

Theme of Belonging and Displacement

The poem opens with the speaker contemplating the inheritance of her mother's possessions, which represent both the continuity of family life and the fractured nature of home for a migrant family. The kitchen, a domestic space associated with comfort, care, and tradition, is central to the speaker's understanding of her mother's life:

“I will inherit my mother’s kitchen, / her glasses, some tall and lean, others short and fat, / her plates, an ugly collection from various sets.”

The list of objects — glasses, plates, and cups — initially appears to suggest a mundane inheritance of household items. However, the description of these objects as mismatched and “ugly” hints at a sense of imperfection or incompleteness in the mother’s attempts to create a lasting home. The "ugly collection from various sets" could symbolise the fractured nature of the mother’s life, marked by instability and displacement, as she never had the opportunity to settle permanently in one place. The mismatch of the kitchen items contrasts with the ideal of a single, unified home and highlights the disjointedness of the family's experience.

The speaker is about to inherit these items, but they come with the emotional weight of her mother's history of displacement. The mother's voice, saying, “soon all of this will be yours,” signals the inevitability of this inheritance, but also the mother's attempt to prepare her daughter for a future shaped by both connection and loss. The speaker’s inheritance is not just of material objects, but of the emotional resonance that these objects carry — the echoes of a life that was repeatedly uprooted.

The Mother’s Escapes and Reinvention

The mother’s life, as described in the poem, is one of repeated departures and new beginnings. The line “My mother is planning another escape / for the first time home is her destination” suggests that, after many years of dislocation, the mother sees her return to a "rebuilt house" as the possibility of finally establishing a sense of belonging. The idea of “escaping” implies that her past homes were places of difficulty or trauma, and that her repeated moves were a way of seeking refuge or a fresh start. However, at the age of 69, she finds herself “excited at starting from scratch,” eager to build a home anew.

The mother’s ninth move suggests a lifetime of transient living, each attempt to establish a permanent home thwarted by circumstances beyond her control. The excitement of “starting from scratch” signals both hope and resignation: hope that this new beginning could be different, and resignation that she has had to make this journey so many times before. The mother’s identity has been shaped by her constant movement, and now, as she approaches the final years of her life, she finds a sense of agency in choosing where she will settle — even if this is “her ninth time.”

The Silence Around Loss

The mother’s emotional response to loss is subtly conveyed in the poem. Although the mother never expresses regret for the furniture or belongings she left behind, she does feel sorrow for the vine in her garden:

“She never talks about her lost furniture / when she kept leaving her homes behind. / She never feels regret for things / only for her vine in the front garden / which spread over the trellis on the porch.”

This shift from the loss of physical objects to the emotional attachment to the vine highlights the deep, personal connection the mother feels to certain aspects of home, even if they are not strictly "things." The vine, which was carefully tended to and nurtured with songs to help the grapes ripen, becomes a powerful symbol of continuity, growth, and a fleeting connection to her past. While the mother can let go of furniture and possessions, the vine represents something more intimate and emotionally significant. It signifies a rootedness and a sense of belonging that she is unable to replicate in her new homes.

The mother's desire to protect the vine with "cotton bags to protect them from the bees" suggests a kind of tender care and devotion, something she could offer to the vine that she might not have been able to offer to her homes or possessions, which were always left behind. The vine thus becomes a symbol of the mother’s attempts to nurture something enduring in her life despite constant change. However, the fact that this vine is "lost" signals that the emotional weight of her displacement is not easily overcome.

The Speaker’s Realisation: What Will Not Be Inherited

The final line of the poem, “I know I will never inherit my mother’s trees,” carries a sense of finality and emotional resonance. The trees, like the vine, symbolise a connection to the land, to roots, and to the enduring aspects of identity that transcend the material. While the speaker will inherit the kitchen items — the physical remnants of her mother’s life — she recognises that some aspects of her mother’s emotional and cultural heritage, particularly the deep connection to her homeland symbolised by the trees, will remain forever out of her reach.

This line also serves as a reflection on the limits of inheritance. While the speaker may inherit material objects, the emotional and cultural continuity that the mother experienced through her connection to the land and the vine will not be passed down. This moment of realisation signals the separation between the mother’s lived experience and the speaker’s own. The trees, possibly representing both the literal and metaphorical roots of the mother’s identity, remain unattainable for the speaker, reinforcing the emotional cost of migration and displacement.

Summary

My Mother’s Kitchen is a powerful exploration of belonging, inheritance, and the emotional complexities of migration. Through the speaker’s reflection on her mother’s life and the objects she will inherit, Choman Hardi delves into the deep sense of loss that accompanies displacement, and the tension between material inheritance and the emotional ties that cannot be passed on. The kitchen, with its mismatched items and rusted pots, becomes a poignant symbol of both the continuity and the fracture of family life. While the speaker inherits the tangible remnants of her mother’s existence, she cannot inherit the emotional and cultural connections to a place that were central to her mother’s identity. The final line, "I will never inherit my mother’s trees," encapsulates the central theme of the poem: the unbridgeable gap between generations and the impossibility of fully inheriting the lived experience of those who came before us.

You can find analysis of all the Edexcel Belonging Poetry Anthology Poems here.