1st Date – She and 1st Date – He (Wendy Cope)

Wendy Cope's paired poems "1st Date – She" and "1st Date – He" offer contrasting perspectives on the same first date, revealing the inner thoughts and insecurities of both individuals involved. The poems explore themes of deception, self-consciousness, attraction, and the struggle for connection. You can read the poems below and find analysis further down the page.

1st Date – She by Wendy Cope

I said I liked classical music.

It wasn’t exactly a lie.

I hoped he would get the impression

That my brow was acceptably high. 
 

I said I liked classical music. 

I mentioned Vivaldi and Bach. 

And he asked me along to this concert. 

Here we are, sitting in the half-dark. 
 

I was thrilled to be asked to the concert. 

I couldn't decide what to wear.

I hope I look tastefully sexy.

I've done what I can with my hair.
 

Yes, I'm thrilled to be here at this concert.

I couldn’t care less what they play

But I’m trying my hardest to listen

So I'll have something clever to say. 
 

When I glance at his face it’s a picture

Of rapt concentration. I see 

He is totally into this music

And quite undistracted by me.
 

1st Date – He by Wendy Cope

She said she liked classical music. 

I implied I was keen on it too. 

Though I don’t often go to a concert,

It wasn’t entirely untrue. 
 

I looked for a suitable concert

And here we are, on our first date. 

The traffic was dreadful this evening

And I arrived ten minutes late. 
 

So we haven’t had much time for talking

And I’m a bit nervous. I see

She is totally lost in the music

And quite undistracted by me. 
 

In that dress she is very attractive – 

The neckline can’t fail to intrigue. 

I mustn’t appear too besotted. 

Perhaps she is out of my league. 
 

Where are we? I glance at the programme

But I’ve put my glasses away.

I’d better start paying attention

Or else I’ll have nothing to say.
 

Analysis  "1st Date – She":

Deception and Pretence: The female speaker admits to pretending to like classical music in order to impress her date. She hopes to appear sophisticated and cultured, despite her lack of genuine interest.

Insecurity and Self-consciousness: The speaker reveals her uncertainty about her appearance and her efforts to present herself as "tastefully sexy." She worries about being overlooked by her date in favour of the music.

Emotional Disconnect: Despite her efforts to engage with her date, she realises that he is absorbed in the music and indifferent to her presence, exacerbating her feelings of inadequacy.

Authenticity vs. Superficiality: The poem explores the tension between being true to oneself and presenting a curated image to others in order to gain acceptance or approval.

Analysis  "1st Date – He":

Deception and Pretence: The male speaker also admits to not being entirely truthful about his interest in classical music. He implies his enthusiasm to align with the female speaker's stated preference.

Self-consciousness and Insecurity: The male speaker expresses nervousness about the date and concerns about appearing too eager or inadequate in comparison to his date.

Attraction and Doubt: He finds his date attractive but worries about whether she is "out of his league," indicating feelings of insecurity and doubt about their compatibility.

Desire for Connection: Despite the distractions and nerves, the male speaker recognises the importance of engaging with his date and making an effort to connect.

Themes:

Deception and Pretence: Both speakers fabricate aspects of themselves to impress their date, highlighting the pressure to conform to societal expectations.

Self-consciousness and Insecurity: The speakers grapple with feelings of inadequacy and anxiety about how they are perceived by their date.

Authenticity vs. Superficiality: The poems explore the tension between presenting a curated image and being true to oneself in the pursuit of connection.

Attraction and Doubt: Both speakers experience attraction to their date but harbour doubts about their own worthiness or the potential success of the relationship.

Language and Structure:

Dialogue and Inner Monologue: The poems utilise a combination of dialogue and inner monologue to provide insight into the characters' thoughts and emotions.

Repetition: Both poems feature repetition of certain phrases ("I said I liked classical music") to emphasise the theme of deception and the characters' attempts to maintain their facade.

Imagery: Vivid imagery is used to depict the characters' surroundings and emotions, creating a sense of atmosphere and intimacy.

Structure: Both poems consist of quatrains with a consistent rhyme scheme, contributing to their rhythmic flow and cohesion.

Conclusion:

"1st Date – She" and "1st Date – He" by Wendy Cope offer a nuanced exploration of the complexities of human relationships and the struggle for connection. Through their contrasting perspectives, the poems highlight the universal themes of deception, self-consciousness, and the desire for authenticity and connection in the face of societal expectations.

You can find analysis of all the Edexcel Relationships Poetry Anthology Poems here.