What Not to Say to Your Kids During Exam Season

As GCSE and A-Level exams approach, emotions tend to run high’ not just for students, but for their parents too. It’s natural to want the best for your child, but the pressure of exams can make even well-meaning comments sound more like criticism than support. During this time, the words you choose matter more than ever.

Here are some common phrases parents should avoid and why they might do more harm than good.

1. “You just need to try harder.”

To your child, this may feel like a dismissal of the effort they’re already putting in. Many students are already feeling overwhelmed; this statement can make them feel as though their hard work is unnoticed or unappreciated.

Instead say:
"I can see how much effort you’re putting in, is there anything I can do to help?"

2. “When I was your age…”

While comparisons to your own school days might feel relatable, education, and the pressure that comes with it has changed significantly. What helped you back then might not be helpful now.

Instead say:
"I know exams are tough, I’m here if you need to talk about how you’re feeling."

3. “Your brother/sister/cousin did just fine.”

Comparisons between siblings or peers can feel crushing. Everyone learns and performs differently, and highlighting others’ achievements can damage your child’s self-esteem.

Instead say:
"Let’s focus on what works best for you, we’ll figure it out together."

4. “If you don’t do well, you’ll never get anywhere.”

This kind of fear-based motivation rarely works and can increase anxiety. While GCSEs and A-Levels are important, they are not the only route to success.

Instead say:
"Whatever happens, we’ll work out the next steps together, your future doesn’t depend on one set of results."

5. “Why haven’t you revised more?”

Challenging your child’s revision habits can make them defensive or feel like a failure. Often, poor revision patterns are linked to stress or not knowing how to study effectively.

Instead say:
"How’s your revision going? Do you want help planning your time?"

6. “You’ve got nothing to be stressed about.”

To a GCSE or A-Level student, exams can feel like the centre of their world. Dismissing their anxiety can make them feel isolated or silly for being worried.

Instead say:
"It’s completely normal to feel stressed, I’m proud of how you’re managing things."

Final Thoughts

As a parent, your role during exam season is to be a calm and steady presence. Encouragement, empathy, and understanding go a long way. Listen more than you lecture, praise effort over outcomes, and remind them that no matter what happens, they are more than their exam results.

Exams matter, but your child’s wellbeing matters more.