How to Cope with a Relationship Breakup

Breakups are tough, whether you’re in your first serious relationship or one that’s lasted a while. At sixth form, you might feel like your social world is even more intense, making the end of a relationship feel like it’s happening under a magnifying glass. However, it’s important to remember that coping with a breakup is a personal process, and it takes time.

Here’s a guide to help you navigate this challenging time and come out stronger on the other side.

Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions after a breakup: sadness, anger, confusion, relief, or even guilt. Don’t suppress how you’re feeling. It’s okay to cry, vent to a friend, or spend some time reflecting on what happened. Acknowledging your emotions is the first step towards healing.

Tip: Write in a journal or speak to a trusted friend. Expressing yourself verbally or on paper can help you process what’s going on inside your head.

Avoid Idealising the Relationship

In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s easy to idealise the relationship and focus on the good times. While it’s perfectly normal to miss someone, remember that the relationship ended for a reason. Think about the challenges and what you learned from the experience.

Tip: Try writing a list of both the positives and negatives of the relationship. This can help you put things into perspective and remind you why it ended.

Give Yourself Time and Space

If possible, take some time away from your ex. Constantly checking their social media or staying in touch can make it harder to move on. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself, and allow both of you the space to heal.

Tip: If you have mutual friends, it might be helpful to set some boundaries. Let them know if you need a bit of distance from conversations that centre on your ex.

Focus on Self-Care

During a breakup, self-care is more important than ever. Make sure you’re looking after your physical and emotional well-being. Whether it’s getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, or just taking some time for yourself, prioritising your health will help you feel more grounded.

Tip: Try taking up a new hobby or revisiting an old passion, something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Lean on Friends and Family

Don’t be afraid to ask for support from those around you. True friends will want to help you through this time. Whether it’s simply spending time with them, talking about your feelings, or just getting out of the house, it’s important to stay connected.

Tip: Don’t isolate yourself. Even though it’s tempting to hide away, socialising with friends (even if you don’t feel like it) can improve your mood and help you gain a fresh perspective.

Focus on Your Studies (But Don’t Overload Yourself)

It can be difficult to focus on schoolwork immediately after a breakup, but distraction can actually be helpful. Throwing yourself into your studies can provide structure and a sense of purpose during this emotional rollercoaster. However, remember not to overburden yourself, take breaks and be kind to yourself.

Tip: If you find that you’re struggling to concentrate, break your revision into smaller tasks. This will make everything feel more manageable.

Reflect on What You’ve Learned

Every relationship, whether it lasts or not, teaches us something. Use this time to reflect on what you learned about yourself, your needs, and your boundaries. Understanding your own growth and how you’ve evolved will help you build stronger relationships in the future.

Tip: You might want to talk to a counsellor or someone you trust about what you’ve learned from the experience. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you gain clarity.

Avoid Rebound Relationships

While it may feel tempting to dive into a new relationship to “move on” from your ex, it’s important to give yourself the time and space to heal before getting involved with someone else. Rebound relationships can sometimes complicate your healing process.

Tip: Take time to be single, even if it’s hard. Use this period to reconnect with yourself, rather than rushing into a new relationship.

Set New Goals for Yourself

A breakup, especially if it was a long-term relationship, might have shaken up your future plans or sense of identity. Now is the perfect opportunity to set new personal goals, whether they’re academic, physical, or creative. You might find that focusing on something else you’re passionate about gives you a sense of direction.

Tip: Consider setting some small, achievable goals in the short term, as well as bigger ones in the long term. This will help you stay motivated and focused on what’s ahead.

Know That Healing Takes Time

There’s no set timeline for healing, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time. You might not feel better straight away, and that’s completely normal. Over time, the pain will lessen, and you’ll come to terms with the breakup.

Tip: Be patient with yourself. Healing is not a linear process there will be good days and bad days. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small it may seem.

Final Thought: You’re Not Alone

Breakups are tough, but remember that they’re a part of life, and they don’t define who you are. It’s completely normal to feel a sense of loss and grief, but with time, you’ll find yourself stronger and more self-aware. Surround yourself with supportive people, focus on your personal growth, and trust that things will get better.

Stay kind to yourself, and take things one step at a time. You’ve got this.